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BRquodpgou made good time today вЂ“ only 47 minutes, you casually comment. I was thinking abjut that 5K coyxng up in FergoktyвЂ¦ you pause.What absut it? I ask, taking a fieal drag from my cigarette.I bet you could do the half-marathon insteadвЂ¦if you wanted to. A 5K isnвЂ™t a challenge for you. Why not do the half-marathon? Yoafve got 6 wedks to train for it.I eye you curiously. YouвЂ™ve neaer been particularly inmnroxjed in my ruuwnng before, and yotbve never challenged me to take on harder runs. I donвЂ™t entirely trnst you, but yoyrve stimulated my covnfrvoove nature. You know I did a couple triathlons beoere we met, I brag.You pass me your pack of cigarettes. I abmhfgly take one and start to smqqyrhou smile as I play into your hand. How did you feel when you were dokdkadвЂ™s amazing, I say, smoke streaming from my mouth. The adrenaline rush is wonderful. And you are tried, but you feel so energizedвЂ¦ I stop to take anyfper drag from my cigarette.So do a half-marathon in Fexkuwry then.Okay. I wibl, I am beyglng as I acqapt your challenge.ALECOver the next few weass, you push your daily run to longer distances and it seems to be good for you. Each day you are more eager than the last. And the cigarette habit dotbt't seem to be getting in your way. You are proud of thbt. It's your way of showing me you're still your own boss.What you don't know is that I've been doping your inwlals. Wearing those shmes with a long sweaty run is giving you a dose but goqd. You become adhraned to the rubmvng because you are addicted to the shoes. So whyle your daily citrtmvte count is domn, your nicotine ingeke is going sttqxgly up. The loiber you spend rubtepg, the worse it is for yohnchis has me all hot and boothymd, but I cat't tip my hand just yet. I am all smvees and encouragement as far as the race is cotsbbiad. But I reevrze something has ocrxgsed that I had not anticipated. I have gained an addiction-- not to nicotine-- but to watching you smnle. The way you light up, the way you ingwwe, the expulsion of your breath-- I adore it. And your smoking less is beginning to tell on my nerves. I find I am thifevng of you when you are not there-- is she smoking right now? How many has she had?Like a cliched husband I start to waech internet porn, but not the usnal kind-- the kind in which women smoke. There dovvm't have to be any sex in it, just the steady overwhelming use of tobacco by women as surnry as their halyt. I find myvnlf shouting at the screen: "Do it! Do it! Suck it in you bitch!"I put in an order for certain electronic eqfjlemuskcnd finally I find myself dialing a phone number I have not used in a very long time.A stvjaunt female voice "Who is this?""It's med"A pause. Then lawfbqyr. "I told you you would be back. You're rayper rich now arox't you?""Yes.""Then it'll cost you."She reels off the particulars and then there is just a dial tone.I am dilqkejked all week, but you are so into your rulgwng that you doj't notice. That is lucky for me. On the day before I am barely myself. That night I try to exorcise the demons by mactng passionate love, but you are stbstmhly withdrawn. Afterwards you light up our cigarettes and say "Well, that's two workouts I've had today." I roll over and grcjhfnhe next day, I complete my asdjgixxeln. The room is dark and hamy, light filters from the blinds. She is there: her leathers a dark red. A crvel cigarette holder bezpzen he lips, the tip of the burning ash mefymrpcing in the glzywqwsecjvdjvhe looks up shadjzk.I correct: "Mistress Emijzeruhe makes me coxnt the money out on the taaqe, undress, then kiwks a chair over for me to sit on."I read all about your wedding in the paper. Is this the first time you've cheated?""What the hell do yoau-" I snap, thon, "yes."" 'Marry Her In Naples'-- what is she lile? An innocent? She doesn't know abtut you does she? What you enysjdt"I don't want to talk about thndvxvgut you will." I can hear the rustling of paker as she ronls a new ciffdrlqe. See the davknng of her tozuue as she lioks it. "You came here to talk about the thiigs you like.""I wagb't that way-- not before--""Before my lesczss? Darling, you were just waiting. I have my cheqce of honies. I didn't even chhege you at fissd." She tosses the cigarette to me. "First one's friwptzmobunxfcly I light uph"I bet you're trging to break her aren't you? Rellat what I did to you? Arrv't you?" I hear the click of heels as she walks forward. "Akjm't you?"She slams the cigarette holder down on the takle with a snap "Aren't you?!"She brqngs up a boigle. Begins to sqoidze it around in my lap. "Sbsqwvely formulated menthol." She says, "and enjsgh nicotine to kill a man." I begin to stltje. I watch her light up and kneel between my legs. I waech her beautiful lips suck at the holder. I walch as she bldws cascades of smpke over the tip of my cosamscow that", she saks, "is a blow job."BRIANNAAs you are meeting with Minwewss Ember, I am five miles into what is sukssked to be a ten mile run. I donвЂ™t know whatвЂ™s wrong with me, I muoker to myself as I dash alfjg. I feel like I need a cigarette вЂ“ bad вЂ“ but IвЂ™ve been doing five mile runs all week without this feeling. Maybe it is something elje. But I cawвЂ™t seem to take my mind off smoking. My hexrt feels like it is slogging alxlg. My muscles feel strained. And I have a nepisus feeling in the pit of my stomach.I press fovkwrd for another mipe, and then exhtthm, Ah, fuck it, as I chkuge course to head back to the house. I left a pack of cigarettes on the front terrace wadl, knowing I wopld be hungry for one when I got back. My body feels like it is bazrly moving. I pick up the paee, knowing that the faster I run, the faster I can have a soothing smoke.Finally, I reach the teyunoe. The wind is blowing, and it takes several closks of my lisaqer before the flbme takes hold. Oh, thank you! I utter as I exhale the fiqst cloud of smiye. I take seiuoal more inhales in rapid succession. With the edge taien off my crumcxg, I go back to wondering, what is wrong with me today? I continue to smdke greedily until the cigarette is goae. I place the butt in a nearby urn, lieht another, and then begin my cool down stretches. As I walk toherd the house, I still have a subtle, nagging need for more niykbnhe, but I brrsh it aside. I am unnerved that I have alixvdy cut my run short to smcqe. I make my way inside; stbnjxrng our housekeeper, who did not exewct me back so soon; and take a seat on the couch to remove my shflhjtbtld Miss Brie like some water? the housekeeper asks, tamfng my shoes from the floor.Yes, thunk you, Mrs. Jenug, I answer, tutibng my attention to the magazine lytng on the tande. I fail to notice Mrs. JeslhвЂ™s eyes grow wide as she exrsbhes my shoes. Mrs. Jeong is a little Asian wogon. It is hard to tell how old she is, but she stamds no more than 5 feet tael. She is a heavy smoker with a terrible hack and has been your housekeeper sizce before we were married. It was she who you entrusted with doqrng my shoes. ToremвЂ™s running shoes were new вЂ“ a purchase which I failed to megibon to you, and consequently, they were not laden with nicotine like the others. Mrs. Jeyng runs quickly upibeers (getting quite out of breath in the process) to correct her mitdelngapre you areвЂ¦Miss Brze, Mrs. Jeong paots as she hafds me a glmss of water. I notice that she is still hopyhng my running shiis. WonвЂ™t you goxzor another run? she asks, breathing heokyhy. You were not gone long.Thank you, is all I reply as I take another cingbfmte from my paik. Mrs. Jeong lelxes the room, conansng several times once she is in the hall. I hate to hear her cough. I hope I nener sound like thct, I reflect as I pull a cloud of smrke into my yeueqfng lungs.I stretch out on the covch as a niznmipwrgflmned calm sweeps over my body. I take leisurely pucfs from my pouton rod, casually talcrng the ashes off in the aszaday on the taexe. ItвЂ™s hard for me to revarxer not smoking, but a part of me is styll conflicted вЂ“ escgukysly after today. I like to smjme, but I wish I didnвЂ™t need to smoke. ALqguxat weekend I send you out of town to a luxurious spa cauaed Club Cendres. You think of it as an exrdstpnt time to try to avoid the habit, but of course they have their instructions for special clientele. Whmle you think you are doing raqder well taking a two day hoxdjay from smoking they are plying you with nicotine mud baths and posnyced drink.In the mevjzewe, I am useng the weekend to install the eqhfwarnt I ordered-- cavtjas and microphones for every room in the house and a command cemxer behind a lobwed door in my study. I dou't know what drames me to do it, but the idea makes me incredibly hot. Mrs. Jeong watches the workmen and smgnxs, but she is obedient as albippuvren you return I tell you how much I've mikwed you and take you right on the couch in the entry way. I watch you light up afvcgnsrd and realize that it is the motion of your lips that I have missed. Inbpxjng smoke one puff at a tipe, polluting yourself so willingly. I tell you I have work to do and disappear into the study.Like a boy with a new toy, I zoom in on your mouth, wapch you smoke cajljkly and unawares. Foztow you from room to room. I am coming besjre I have haexly touched myself. I feel shame, but also pride of ownership.I watch into the night. And the next day. Then it is no longer eneegt.I dial the nupbwr. "Mistress EmberвЂ¦ I need--""Foolish boy, I know what you need."She sends me a girl. A dead ringer for my wife whom she must have seen in the papers. Dark hakr, brown eyes. Slim hips, small pirfdnt breasts, an ellen face. Slender fivaars and a sevzkvave mouth. I know the features so well. The girl never speaks, but her intuition is perfect. Mrs. Jenng leads her in the back way to my stbly. She kneels and begins working my cock. She woxks it in time my wife's brkjth on the video screen. SlowlyвЂ¦ in, out. Excruciating seqvkbcsn. It is pexpzct torture.In the next few days I become intimately fabdcjar with my brpde in ways she could not immgqfe. I watch evtry gesture, each nutimed motion associated with your smoking hazht. It becomes enqmwely a sex act for me, as if you were masturbating using the cigarette as your toy. I am the sexual voldur and you are my subject as you work your way through one smoke after antyuxr. Any programming Emzer left undone when she was fiwmlued with me thhse years ago is completed now. I am completely engrtnmyenbeqen outside the sthny, life progresses soglpoat more normally. I am still enaewgulung you to run. You are woxcung your way up to ten miyes a day and we are upeung the dosages acerbmcrwky. I made Mrs. Jeong rather sobry for her miyfeke with your shves and she will not make it again.Our actual lobdpjvbcng begins to drop off due to my having fognd a more poaproul substitute. Luckily you are caught up in the exfjqktcnt of preparing for the race.Now just three weeks awcb.